I asked for it

So, if you don't mind, I'm just going to dive right in to this post:

After my IUI last month failed, I was pretty depressed. Since my last miscarriage, every month that had gone by that I wasn't pregnant was bringing me further and further down. Something needed to change and I said so in my prayers. Obviously, being pregnant would solve all my problems but I knew it needed to be more than that. I needed to find a way to be happy in spite of my enduring infertility. So I told Heavenly Father that I needed something. Pregnancy would be nice, but I'll take anything that gets me out of this depression.

Well, less than a week after my negative test I got a call from a member of the bishopric asking me to speak in church on the 20th. The subject? Cultivating a Grateful and Humble Heart. Honestly, gratitude isn't something I struggle with. Listing things I'm thankful for has saved me many times in the past. I was pretty anxious, but I figured it would probably be something I needed. That turned out to be quite the understatement.

Actually giving the talk is the easy part. The hard part is writing it all down. I'm terrible at speaking off the cuff and so I must write everything down. I am so thankful for the church website. All I had to do was search "gratitude" and I pulled up six recent conference talks plus other references. So I read them all, pulled out all the best bits and connected them all together with my own words. It took several hours over two days to finish it.

The amazing part was that I felt I had so much help putting it together. I have felt for a long time that Heavenly Father had left me alone to endure infertility. So this was truly a miracle for me to feel His hand in helping me put the right words on the paper.

I've posted it online if anyone would like to read it. I'm really pleased with how it turned out and I got a lot of compliments from the congregation. Also, our High Council representative asked for a copy. I wonder what that's all about.

Jaaromy told me not to let it go to my head. I'm not too worried about that. I know I couldn't have done it on my own. This talk was as much for me as anyone and Heavenly Father gave me the words that I, myself, needed to hear.

So, now I'm waiting for the results of my second IUI and I'm more optimistic about it than I have been in a long time. I sure hope it's positive but even if it's not, I have been given new hope and renewed faith in Heavenly Father's timing.

I'll think of things I never thunk before

Well, it's the Ides of March so I figure I should get at least one post in for the month. I'd like to thank Jonathan for making a boring event into a slightly more interesting one. You'll see why.

Jaaromy and I both need exercise, obviously, but we've grown tired of the treadmill. Also, for me, I wanted something really low-impact. Just in case. So I looked into getting an exercise bike.


This one was the cheapest, but doesn't it look just super uncomfortable? That has got to be the most unnatural sitting position I have ever seen. I want to tell the model that she doesn't have any belly fat so she can just stop sucking in, it's not helping the product.


Then we saw this one. Same model, slightly less uncomfortable-looking sitting position. We figured that with the wide seat and laid back position, it would be much more comfortable and we would thus be more likely to use it. So I ordered it.

Side note: I've decided that, while I love Wal-mart's site-to-store service, it was a little embarrassing for my non-skinny self to cart exercise equipment through the store, with help from an employee. I'm just sayin'.

So I got it home and started putting it together. Jonathan was such a sweetheart and offered to help me. When we finished, I was trying it out a bit and Jonathan said "I wish I could sit on it and think." I asked him if he wanted to sit on it and he said yes. So he did. And he thought.


I'm not sure what he was thinking about, but what a great place to think.